How To Change Yourself In Any Way You Desire

"Dr. Kuhn," she said, "I've been looking forward to talking with you."

I was attending an early Kentucky Derby event and the hostess was someone I've know for a few years. "I've been having problems with taking myself way too seriously the past couple weeks," she elaborated.

"You have my book, The Fun Factor, right," I asked her.

"Yes," came her reply.

I continued, "And you've applied my HA HA HA Prescription to all areas of your life, right? Just as I prescribe?"

"Yes, and I've had great success with it," she beamed. "My husband and I are rarely fighting anymore and my work is going great! It's just been these last two weeks...I find myself feeling and acting so stressed out. I don't know what to do."

"Have you been in charge of organizing this event?" I asked.

"Yes," came her reply.

"Then I think I know exactly why you've been experiencing those problems," I told her. "And I have some great news for you..."

Experiencing frustration when you relapse against positive changes you've made is very common. You have undoubtedly made some profound changes in your life based on my Fun Factor prescription. You have told me about how The Fun Factor has helped you with weight loss, family reconciliation, returning to your job, stopping smoking, being a parent, and many other wonderful accomplishments.

Yet, for all the positive changes your focus on fun and humor bring, you still occasionally get bitten by the seriousness bug. And it screws up your life a little bit.

To that end, I have some very interesting information to share with you this week. The following five stages of change were developed by a University of Rhode Island psychology professor named James Prochaska. These five stages have become very influential because they've helped many, many people progress towards a life without harmful, destructive habits.

I trust they will be helpful to you also. Of course, I want you to read through them with an eye toward gauging how far you've progressed in jettisoning seriousness and incorporating fun, but they work just as well to measure any positive change you want to make. I've also included typical statements you might hear yourself making when you are in each stage, to further assist you in identifying your current status.

Dr. James Prochaska's Five Stages of Change (As Applied to Your Seriousness)

1. Stage One: Precontemplation. In this stage, you're thinking you'll never change. You're still in denial about your seriousness. A typical statements from this stage include "It's not really that bad," or "I can change anytime I want, I just don't want to right now."



2. Stage Two: Contemplation. In this stage you are aware of your seriousness and you're going to replace it with fun someday. You're full of good intentions. A typical statement from this stage would be, "I know I need to take myself less seriously and I plan on doing it."



3. Stage Three: Preparation. In this stage you are making definite plans to stop taking yourself so seriously. As an aside, don't stop here! Research indicates that over 85% of people needing to make health-related changes never even make it to Step Three or beyond. Typical statements from this stage are, "This is the year that I'm going to stop being so serious," or "Starting next month I'm going to start taking myself less seriously."



4. Stage Four: Action. In Stage Four you are actually using fun to guide and motivate you rather than seriousness and fear. As an aside, make sure you dive right in to The Fun Factor! Feeling quick, positive differences in your life makes it much easier to graduate to the final stage. Typical statements from someone in Stage Four include "I'm actually doing this," and "I feel really good about using fun - it's making a difference!"



5. Stage Five. Maintenance. In this stage you've achieved the opportunity to use fun forever because you've created new mental pathways in your brain, retraining it. (See last week's Fun Times for more on this) But be aware that the old mental pathways of seriousness you've abandoned do not disappear! It is easy to fall back on old, bad habits of seriousness when you're stressed - we call this a relapse. A typical statement from this stage is "Fun is part of my life now and I really feel lousy when I get serious."

Here are my doctor's orders after you've identified which stage of change you're in:

If you identify yourself in Stages One, Two, or Three in regard to replacing your seriousness with fun, keep reading The Fun Times and my website articles until you're ready for Stage Four.

If you identify yourself in Stage Four, make sure you have my Fun Factor prescription and are applying it in all areas of your life. Feeling the incredible difference fun makes is vital to reaching Stage Five.

If you identify yourself in Stage Five, continue to use The Fun Factor and do not beat yourself up for your occasional relapse into seriousness. As you now know, your setbacks are not defeats - they are merely reminders that we need to keep our focus on fun today.

And that is exactly what I shared with my hostess that night. I was certain that she knew how to have fun, but the stress she had fallen into while planning this Derby event had triggered a relapse of seriousness.

Realizing this, she made a point to redouble her efforts to use fun to motivate and guide her. And you can do this too; don't get down on yourself if you fall "off the wagon" because all you're doing is reverting to old habits in times of stress. Just remember why you made your change, get back on your horse, and pick right back up with your new, healthy habit!


Cliff Kuhn, M.D.
The Laugh Doctor

The Natural Medicine of Humor
"Discover a unique, FREE, and incredibly powerful prescription created out of desperation by a (formerly) stressed-out Kentucky psychiatrist"

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