How To Get To Cloud Nine

Have you ever heard the expression, "I'm on cloud nine"? To be on cloud nine means to not have a worry in the world and I will show you how to achieve that state, right now, today. And I'll share with you the origin of this unusual expression. But first...

If you want to get to cloud nine, you'll first need to learn about one of my most important Fun Commandments - Welcoming Your Mistakes. Welcoming your mistakes is a vital skill because fearing mistakes is one of the main reasons you worry, procrastinate, and get too serious. And, of course, another reason to learn to welcome your mistakes is that you can count on continuing to make them for a long, long time.

At least I hope you do. I hope you make some whoppers! Let me explain why...

Every action you take invokes the risk of making a mistake. Everything involves risk and, in fact, refusing to risk is refusing to live. In fact, the only way to avoid risk is to become completely immobilized - and, ironically, that would be the biggest risk of all!

So is it any wonder that you learn to fear your mistakes? You don't like the pain and discomfort they cause. You don't like people to consider you incompetent or poorly prepared. Mainly, though, your pride is on the line because you don't like surrendering your delusions of perfectionism.

These reasons are why welcoming your mistakes can take practice, but it's also why learning to do it has such a huge payoff. You see, when you welcome your mistakes you are actually embracing parts of yourself you've fought against for years. You are, literally and quite accurately, boldly proclaiming that you are perfect - warts and all!

What will you find when you begin welcoming your mistakes?

Your mistakes are, paradoxically, your greatest assets! Because they are your best teachers. Let me explain:

• You don't usually like to change, even when you know change is needed.


• Pain is almost always the motivator that causes you to finally make a needed change.


• Your mistakes cause you pain.


• Thus, your mistakes open your mind and force you to consider the possibility of change.

Your ability to make mistakes is like having a full-time life coach living within you. You already know that the results of making a needed, positive change are wonderful; don't you often look back with gratitude on certain painful or uncomfortable circumstances that forced you to change? But now, you love the results!

Why wait to be grateful in retrospect? Get on cloud nine by welcoming your mistakes, right here and right now! Embrace them. Love and cherish your mistakes! Heck, when I want a chuckle, I even make mistakes on purpose.

By the way, clouds were named by an English pharmacist named Luke Howard, the father of modern meteorology. You're familiar with his names for clouds like cumulus, cirrus, nimbus, etc. In 1896, Howard published his first edition of the International Cloud Atlas, which actually divided clouds into ten basic types. The cushioniest, billowy, and plumpest cloud in the atlas was the cumulonimbus - which just happened to be cloud number nine. Hence the phrase to "be on cloud nine."

You're headed for cloud number nine right now because you're starting to welcome your mistakes. And next week I'll assist you further by revealing some foolproof strategies to help you welcome your mistakes even more.


Cliff Kuhn, M.D.
The Laugh Doctor
"it all starts with a SMILE"

The Natural Medicine of Humor
"Discover a unique, FREE, and incredibly powerful prescription created out of desperation by a (formerly) stressed-out Kentucky psychiatrist"

The Blog Directory

How To Be As Happy As A Monkey

You flooded our inbox after last week's blog entry, sending me lots of evidence that bananas are the perfect food. I now know that bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that your body converts into serotonin. (Serotonin is known to help you relax, improve your mood, and generally make you feel happy) And I learned that the FDA just allowed the banana industry to officially claim a reduction in your risk of high blood pressure and stroke. But I'll share the coolest banana tidbit I learned in a moment...

Let's get back to one thing I know is perfect...you. Last week I told you that by laughing with yourself (one of my favorite Fun Commandments), you reinforce the notion that you are perfect just as you are. Warts and all! In fact, laughing with yourself confirms that your perfection includes your contradictions and foibles.

But how do you laugh with yourself?

• Step One - Accept Your Powerlessness
  
  The key to this step is the concept of acceptance, perhaps the most misunderstood word in the English language. Acceptance doesn't mean approval or endorsement, it merely means acknowledging things as they are. Perfectionism, the deadly opposite of perfection, is rigid and unyielding, so acknowledging the things that are beyond your power to control sets you free!



• Step Two - Start Identifying Those Things over Which You Have No Control
  
  This is a great way to practice laughing with yourself; once you've got a handle on the things over which you have no control, you can focus on the things over which you do. Remember that, although you may be a victim of circumstance, you are always a master of response! Step Two frees you from your unrealistic expectations and focuses your attention on choices that will increase your personal effectiveness.



• Step Three - Put It All in Perspective
  
  Develop the habit of frequently asking yourself, "How important will this be 100 years from now?" Obviously, some things will pass that litmus test, but you'll be amazed that almost everything that's keeping you serious will be immaterial 100 years from now! This perspective helps you lighten up and you can't help but laugh with yourself when you catch yourself getting stressed over something inconsequential.



• Step Four - Put Yourself in the Joke
  
  Tell gentle jokes on yourself; adapt a joke or personal experience and make yourself the punch line. Remember that Ryan Seacrest (the host of American Idol) recently said he knew he had made it big in Hollywood when, "I became a regular punch line in Jay Leno's monologue." The more you tell these stories, the easier it becomes to laugh with yourself.

Put these four steps into action today. It takes practice to focus on laughing with, not at, yourself. But the results are well worth it!

You'll soon find it difficult to take yourself too seriously. My research has shown that people who love and accept themselves on a deep level are also especially adept at laughing with, but not at, themselves. Coincidence? No way!

The good news is that, just as accepting/loving yourself helps you laugh with yourself, laughing with yourself perpetuates and accelerates accepting/loving yourself. It's a wonderful snowball effect. And we can all use more self-acceptance!

By the way, I also learned that a banana can shine your shoes; rub your leather shoes with the inside of the peel, let dry, and buff to a gleaming luster. But the coolest thing is that bananas sooth mosquito bites! If you rub the affected skin with the inside of the peel, you'll be amazed at the reduction of swelling and irritation.

No wonder monkeys are so happy!

And you'll be happy too, as you learn to laugh (and love) with yourself more than you've ever experienced. Please write and share your laughter with me.



Cliff Kuhn, M.D.
The Laugh Doctor
"it all starts with a SMILE"

The Natural Medicine of Humor
"Discover a unique, FREE, and incredibly powerful prescription created out of desperation by a (formerly) stressed-out Kentucky psychiatrist"

The Blog Directory

You're More Perfect Than A Banana

Bananas are often called the perfect food. They're healthy, delicious, and (best of all) because of their rind you never have to worry about who was touching it. But did you ever notice that bananas are green when they arrived at your grocery? Logic would dictate that bananas are picked green so they can ripen en route to your store, but that is incorrect. I'll tell you why in a moment...

Bananas may or may not be perfect, but you definitely are. Before you doubt me, do you know the difference between perfection and perfectionism? Here it is in a nutshell: perfection is what you are (warts and all) while perfectionism is what you think you ought to be.

Perfection is wonderful. Perfection is vital, robust, and lots of fun. Perfection is full of surprises because it includes inconsistencies, contradictions, and imperfection. When you allow yourself to experience your perfection, you are confidently aware of your abundance of resources because you possess everything necessary to get the job done.

Perfectionism, however, is no fun at all. Perfectionism is deadly serious, it is a bottomless pit that excludes imperfections and contradictions. When you are lulled by the lie of perfectionism, you are desperately aware that you are lacking the resources necessary to get the job done.

So how do you stop perfectionism and accept your perfect self?

Look to my Fun Commandment, Laugh With Yourself. The best antidote to perfectionism is the willingness to laugh with yourself because your humor nature stamps out perfectionism, while reinforcing your perfection. And laughing with yourself is an effective way to call your humor nature into frequent action.

Of course, you must remember that laughing with yourself does not mean you should humiliate or demean yourself. Willingness to laugh with yourself is the very opposite of self denigration because it is a way of affirming that you are worthy of respect and consideration. Not in spite of, but because of your inconsistencies and contradictions.

Laughing with yourself is a statement that your imperfections are a valuable part of your perfection.

And, by the way, bananas are not picked green so they can ripen on the way to your store. They are picked green because they become inedible if allowed to ripen on the stalk. You, however, are perfect no matter how far along you are in the ripening process!



Cliff Kuhn, M.D.
The Laugh Doctor
"it all starts with a SMILE"

The Natural Medicine of Humor
"Discover a unique, FREE, and incredibly powerful prescription created out of desperation by a (formerly) stressed-out Kentucky psychiatrist"

The Blog Directory

How To Change Yourself In Any Way You Desire

"Dr. Kuhn," she said, "I've been looking forward to talking with you."

I was attending an early Kentucky Derby event and the hostess was someone I've know for a few years. "I've been having problems with taking myself way too seriously the past couple weeks," she elaborated.

"You have my book, The Fun Factor, right," I asked her.

"Yes," came her reply.

I continued, "And you've applied my HA HA HA Prescription to all areas of your life, right? Just as I prescribe?"

"Yes, and I've had great success with it," she beamed. "My husband and I are rarely fighting anymore and my work is going great! It's just been these last two weeks...I find myself feeling and acting so stressed out. I don't know what to do."

"Have you been in charge of organizing this event?" I asked.

"Yes," came her reply.

"Then I think I know exactly why you've been experiencing those problems," I told her. "And I have some great news for you..."

Experiencing frustration when you relapse against positive changes you've made is very common. You have undoubtedly made some profound changes in your life based on my Fun Factor prescription. You have told me about how The Fun Factor has helped you with weight loss, family reconciliation, returning to your job, stopping smoking, being a parent, and many other wonderful accomplishments.

Yet, for all the positive changes your focus on fun and humor bring, you still occasionally get bitten by the seriousness bug. And it screws up your life a little bit.

To that end, I have some very interesting information to share with you this week. The following five stages of change were developed by a University of Rhode Island psychology professor named James Prochaska. These five stages have become very influential because they've helped many, many people progress towards a life without harmful, destructive habits.

I trust they will be helpful to you also. Of course, I want you to read through them with an eye toward gauging how far you've progressed in jettisoning seriousness and incorporating fun, but they work just as well to measure any positive change you want to make. I've also included typical statements you might hear yourself making when you are in each stage, to further assist you in identifying your current status.

Dr. James Prochaska's Five Stages of Change (As Applied to Your Seriousness)

1. Stage One: Precontemplation. In this stage, you're thinking you'll never change. You're still in denial about your seriousness. A typical statements from this stage include "It's not really that bad," or "I can change anytime I want, I just don't want to right now."



2. Stage Two: Contemplation. In this stage you are aware of your seriousness and you're going to replace it with fun someday. You're full of good intentions. A typical statement from this stage would be, "I know I need to take myself less seriously and I plan on doing it."



3. Stage Three: Preparation. In this stage you are making definite plans to stop taking yourself so seriously. As an aside, don't stop here! Research indicates that over 85% of people needing to make health-related changes never even make it to Step Three or beyond. Typical statements from this stage are, "This is the year that I'm going to stop being so serious," or "Starting next month I'm going to start taking myself less seriously."



4. Stage Four: Action. In Stage Four you are actually using fun to guide and motivate you rather than seriousness and fear. As an aside, make sure you dive right in to The Fun Factor! Feeling quick, positive differences in your life makes it much easier to graduate to the final stage. Typical statements from someone in Stage Four include "I'm actually doing this," and "I feel really good about using fun - it's making a difference!"



5. Stage Five. Maintenance. In this stage you've achieved the opportunity to use fun forever because you've created new mental pathways in your brain, retraining it. (See last week's Fun Times for more on this) But be aware that the old mental pathways of seriousness you've abandoned do not disappear! It is easy to fall back on old, bad habits of seriousness when you're stressed - we call this a relapse. A typical statement from this stage is "Fun is part of my life now and I really feel lousy when I get serious."

Here are my doctor's orders after you've identified which stage of change you're in:

If you identify yourself in Stages One, Two, or Three in regard to replacing your seriousness with fun, keep reading The Fun Times and my website articles until you're ready for Stage Four.

If you identify yourself in Stage Four, make sure you have my Fun Factor prescription and are applying it in all areas of your life. Feeling the incredible difference fun makes is vital to reaching Stage Five.

If you identify yourself in Stage Five, continue to use The Fun Factor and do not beat yourself up for your occasional relapse into seriousness. As you now know, your setbacks are not defeats - they are merely reminders that we need to keep our focus on fun today.

And that is exactly what I shared with my hostess that night. I was certain that she knew how to have fun, but the stress she had fallen into while planning this Derby event had triggered a relapse of seriousness.

Realizing this, she made a point to redouble her efforts to use fun to motivate and guide her. And you can do this too; don't get down on yourself if you fall "off the wagon" because all you're doing is reverting to old habits in times of stress. Just remember why you made your change, get back on your horse, and pick right back up with your new, healthy habit!


Cliff Kuhn, M.D.
The Laugh Doctor

The Natural Medicine of Humor
"Discover a unique, FREE, and incredibly powerful prescription created out of desperation by a (formerly) stressed-out Kentucky psychiatrist"

The Blog Directory